OK, So I've been negligent

After my last tidbit of information, I finally snagged a position with a local service group that outsources there services to other firms. Needless to say I'm back to sitting in a semi-cube (is that a word?) helping folks make up their minds regarding service with the company I'm supposedly representing. You can't say you don't work for company "X" as you will be probably terminating for violating some sort of perceived trust between the two organizations. Very strange.

I figured this might be a good place to hang my hat and work my way up in the firm as it did have some nice positive chemistry and the people working there were pretty positive and down to earth. Most, like me, had lost their positions due to the economic downturn and were just trying to get back to "normal" living.

After a lengthy training period, I got to the phone and started providing "excellent customer service" Heck after a couple of weeks, during a review session, I was told I should apply for a team manager position or trainer. Wow! This made me feel good! Things just may workout here. I even ran into some folks I knew from previous jobs. One, who was a high level manager, told my team manager that I was working a position way below my skill level and should move up.

Yeah, I know this is all fine and good. Plus we both know that this is heading no where. I'm still at my tiny cubelet, not going anywhere and the "needs of the business" have made the environment unhealthy. What the F... am I doing here?

But what is interesting is I finally realized something. Living this grind that we all have experienced at one time or another and probably still do, I live in two different realities. The one I see when I wake up, exercise, watch some TV, and work. Then there is the other one that is true. The other one that lies beneath the surface and is at the heart of these pseudo lives we currently lead.